So imagine my surprise this morning when I turned on the West Wing and heard the character named Toby saying this...
TOBY: It took... Andrea, it took three days to get the language through NSC and the NSA.
TOBY: It isn't coming out of the speech.
ANDY: I didn't think it was.
TOBY: Then why were we here for an hour?
ANDY: Several members have drafted an insert. Will you look at?
TOBY: Sure.She goes over to her bag and pulls out a sheet of paper.
ANDY: This will follow your paragraph.
TOBY: [reading] "Our goal is neither to preach nor proclaim American values. We have deep respect for our Islamic brothers and sisters and we have a great deal to learn from the values of... tolerence and faith that are deeply held throughout the Islamic world." So this is your way of saying any resemblance the previous paragraph may have had to foreign policy is purely coincidental?
ANDY: That's right.
TOBY: Guess what?
TOBY: Our goal is to proclaim American values.
ANDY: This speech isn't supposed to be about ideology. It's supposed to be about reality.
TOBY: I think the President will decide what the speech is suppose to be about, but the reality is, the United States of America no longer sucks up to reactionaries, and our staunch allies will know what we mean.
ANDY: We don't have any staunch allies in the Arab world; just reluctant ones. We've a coalition held together with duct tape! A coalition without which we cannot fight!
TOBY: Nobody's blowing off the coalition, and that coalition will be plenty strong.
ANDY: Oh, when we win?
TOBY: That's right.
ANDY: What's Egypt going to think? Or Pakistan?
TOBY: That freedom and democracy are coming soon to a theatre near them, so get dressed.
ANDY: Toby... you guys are on a thing right now. And I'm behind you. You know I'm behind you; a lot of House Democrats are...
TOBY: Not enough.
ANDY: And plenty of Republicans. But this one moment in time, you have to get off your horse and just... simply put - be nice to the Arab world.
TOBY: Be nice?
TOBY: Well... How about when we, instead of blowing Iraq back to the seventh century for harbouring terrorists and trying to develop nuclear weapons, we just imposed economic sanctions and were reviled by the Arab world for not giving them a global charge card and a free trade treaty? How about when we pushed Israel to give up land for peace? How about when we sent American soldiers to protect Saudi Arabia, and the Arab world told us we were desecrating their holy land? We'll ignore the fact that we were invited. How about two weeks ago, in the State of the Union when the President praised the Islamic people as faithful and hardworking only to be denounced in the Arab press as knowing nothing about Islam? But none of that is the point.
ANDY: What's the point?
TOBY: I don't remember having to explain to Italians that our problem wasn't with them, but with Mussolini! Why does the U.S. have to take every Arab country out for an ice cream cone? They'll like us when we win!
TOBY: Thousands of madrassahs teaching children nothing, nothing, nothing but the Koran and to hate America. Who do we see about that? Do I want to preach America? Judeo-Christianity? No. If their religion forbids them from playing the trumpet, so be it. But I want those kids to... look at a globe. Be exposed to social sciences, history. Some literature. I'll like us when we win.